What Magazines Do to P*ss Me Off

While I'm a total mag hag and can't devour enough glossies, occasionally they get on my bad side. Here's how (warning: my swear bear rating is high-extreme today)...

1.   "Hot or Not" Galleries:
Gossip rags can't get enough of overanalysing and then cattily commenting on celebrity red carpet outfits. Lampooning a person's look, no matter how famous they are, is vicious and demeaning. Stop it.

2.   Fat Roll-ercoaster:
Declaring a starlet is fat because she gained a couple of kilos, then decrying her as anorexic in the next issue when she loses weight is so not cool. Tiresome and unimaginative.

3.   Word Abuse:
I can't stand the gross overuse of terms like "fashionista", "must-have", and my particular peeve, "eclectic". I know I'm guilty of repetition as well -- I use "love" every other sentence -- but I figure what better word to have on high rotation?

4.   Badvertising:
I get it. Mags need to make money to survive. I just wish they would occasionally take $$ from companies with better environmental, animal rights and sweat shop labour records. You know, for a refreshing change.

5.   The Yearly Body Image Issue:
While I applaud your commitment to representing women of all shapes and levels of fleshiness, it's not really a "commitment" if you dare to be different only one month of the year now, is it? How about throwing some plus-size models into your fashion stories every issue without all the fanfare and self-congratulation and see if anyone complains or even notices their hideous curves and lack of protruding collarbones? I double dare you.

6.   Steal Appeal:
I'm sorry, but an $800 skirt is only a "steal" if you're Winona Ryder and actually theft it out of Saks Fifth Avenue. Take your bullsh*t marketing spin elsewhere. It may be lovingly hand-spun by Tibetan chipmunks from the silky testicle hairs of the rare golden bullfrog, but it's STILL... JUST... A... SKIRT!!! F*ck off, I'm not buying.

Okay, enough negativity. Let's talk about those fine folks who get it right. They're my fave reads for a reason. : )

Here's why I love...

Notably free from badvertising, this fashion mag features handmade, ethical finds without compromising on wow factor. It's the perfect read for wanna-be hippies who prefer the smell of Chanel No 5 to patchouli or incense (yuck!). If you haven't already, try one issue and I guarantee you'll be hooked!

Shop Til You Drop:
It's been criticised as a glorified catalogue, but Shop is fun, friendly and relatable. Forget $800 skirts, Shop will point you in the direction of variously-priced clothes and accessories, most of which your bank manager would approve. Regular column, "On the Plus Side" by Megan Moir Pardy, gives style advice from a curvy girl's perspective. Love.

Marie Claire:
Making it chic to give a sh*t about important issues like homelessness, global women's rights, war, racism and poverty, Marie Claire has weathered the highs and lows of magazine publishing industry for a reason -- its quality reportage. Mix that with ever-hot fashion that rises above petty outfit assassination and worrying about which star has lost 10 pounds and you have a winning fashion mag formula. Hooray!

Have I included your glossy gripes on the list? Which magazines have your vote for doing the right thing?


  1. what an amazing post!! I sooo agree with ALL of the above. I can't stand it when magazines publish pictures of "normal" women (and they're always plus size! not all normal women are, you know)just to feel better about themselves before going back to superskinny retouched teenage models.

    I've also started e-mailing websites and magazines asking them to quit with the fur ads. It's important to speak up!

    ...oh, and this must be the best phrase I've ever read in my entire life: "It may be lovingly hand-spun by Tibetan chipmunks from the silky testicle hairs of the rare golden bullfrog, but it's STILL... JUST... A... SKIRT!!!"

  2. Just stopped by to say Hi from the Blog Hop on Beautysecret-reviewed.com!! I am now following you!!

    What a great post!! I love your point of view and agree 100%. From a social worker perspective what society has deemed as beautiful has changed so much over the years. If you go to a museum and look at those paintings those women by today's standards are considered fat or obese. However those women were seen as beautiful and desireable. If you fast foward to the 70's and even today Marilyn Manroe is/was considered beautiful and desirable and the fact of the matter is she was a size 14 not a 2. As for the price of stuff ugh it irritates me when they think that something cheaper then $100 is affordable when the vast majority of american's are working poor and can't afford that. We need to as moms join together to change these views for our daughters. Great writing!!

  3. these are great..i agree NOT all magazines have the interest of the reader at heart...

  4. Hi guys -- glad you liked the post.

    I actually wrote it while at the hairdresser. Because my hair is sooooo thick and curly, I have a LOT of time to kill sitting there!

    I was also a bit fired up -- I had plenty of trashy, tabloid-style magazines in front of me along with my cup of tea. I'm pleased you liked the golden bullfrong sentence, Sascha. I write best when angry, I think!

    Yep, magazines don't always have their readers at the top of their consideration. A lot of it's about what will bring in the most money from sales and advertising. I agree with you, Teresa -- it's important to remember that notions of beauty have changed over the years and amongst different cultures. It helps keep it all in perspective.

    Now I know you guys liked this post, I'll write some more like it. : )


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